the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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