can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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