well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
