you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
