Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
