Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
