HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
