Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
