I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
