remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So. Much. Porn.
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