porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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