I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were destined to go to rehab together
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
