I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
