I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
