woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
