it's not cheating when I paid for it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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