Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
