I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
