Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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