last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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