But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
