wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
