You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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