We're facebook friends in real life
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
