In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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