Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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