i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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