Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
