i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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