you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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