Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
