okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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