Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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