The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
