im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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