toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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