On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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