i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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