He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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