Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
