do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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