they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
