We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
