We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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