no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Fuck appropriateness.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
