New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
