I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
