The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
