Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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