My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
