My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize