I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
