we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I deserve this hangover.
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