Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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