what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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