weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
