tell your sister to shave her snatch
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
