I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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