Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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