Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You took a bar mat shot.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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