I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
