Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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