Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
